LOSERS - Reviewed by Art Vandelay

Greetings beloved reader. I beg you accept my heartiest gratitude for granting me your audience, and I indeed commend your taste; as in our age of relentless releases, superfluous singles and excessive extended plays, you have undoubtedly come to value the sheer utility of music review. For how could one truly appreciate a medium as aesthetically precedented and established as music without the aid of the written word? As always, it is with humility and care that I offer you my sincerest advice as a purveyor of consequent opinion: Do not listen to “LOSERS” by Chazz.

It brings me no pleasure to reprise this warning (see my review for “Don’t Mention It”), as such a warning indicates that I myself have subjected myself to this utter farce. This “album” is so unfocused and eclectic that I found myself briefly comforted by the delusion that I might in fact be listening to some compilation of bizarre musical theater rejects rather than some poor man’s awkward and pitiful attempt at self-expression.

I believe the evocation of musical theater may be attributed to the character-based contrivance of each song. Each track plays out a vignette wherein some fictional nobody goes through the unfortunate motions of–well, being themself. Take for Instance “California Social Worker Colonizer,” which recounts the decision of a Social Worker leaving their line of work and high-tailing it to Texas and study business. The song is a vaguely punk number with unsuccessful attempts at emulating what I imagine to be maximalist punk arrangers the likes of Jeff Rosenstock from Bomb The Music Industry! or Sarah Tudzin of Illuminati Hotties. The character is uncompelling and sad (pursuing easier security over a noble line of work), and the music is a caricature of far more compelling music, thus my subconscious equivalence to musical theater.

While the approach to song-writing seems to be a departure from his previous release, the angst and unrefined execution do seem to prevail. Notable exceptions to the latter are his choice to employ outside help in mixing; Benny Grotto does deliver deliberate and competent mixes in spite of the substandard performances, with further exceptions being the handful of outside musicians that Chazz has undoubtedly coerced into collaboration: Bea Carlson, Ben Cooper, Vanessa Hale, Alex Sandin, and Allie Tichy all deliver on their respective performances and offer windows of talent between the sad sounds of Chazz performing all of the other instruments and-to everyone’s particular dismay-vocals.

To expound my assessment of this release as unfocused: I cannot for the love of sweet, comfortable categorization, file this “album” under any specific genre. It sounds and looks to be the work of some faceless grunt in an army of unexceptional flannel-laden, Steely Dan T-shirt-wearing music dorks who “loves to listen to a little bit of everything.” (It is important to me, dear reader, that you understand how viscerally nauseating it was to type out this description) Some tracks are an attempt at punk (The Plan, California Social Worker Colonizer), others an attempt at latin (Happy Birthday), and others resigned to a folky singer-songwriter “vibe” (All-Nighter, Teachers). Honoring your influences is fun (I guess), but perhaps next time Chazz might consider that most famous work of John Cage if he is looking to rip someone off.

While this work is evidence to the perils of offering this man a platform, In my unrivaled integrity and music reviewing prowess, I would be remiss not to include the following comment Mr. Rogers offered when solicited:

“This [‘]album[‘] was an homage to the songwriting styles of some of my musical heroes who wrote songs about deadbeats and outcasts. It came together over such a long time that it is a bit embarrassing to admit that I only recently came to the inevitable and painfully cliché realization that these songs were reflections of myself. Really makes all the different iterations of the question ‘who am I’ contained within the lyrics seem all the more oblivious. It does explain the compulsion I feel to make this stuff. It’s funny, I always strive to make songs that I think my friends will like, or that might make them smile. These stories and characters are the latest iteration of that endeavor. I guess the real LOSERS were the friends we made along the way”

I really wish he would leave the constructive criticism to the pros.